Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Abba...

Where to begin. My family left this morning. I was a mess. My heart hurt in so many way, that words are not enough to describe it. So Lord, I know I've asked time and time again to be given a heart of flesh and for you to remove the heart of stone, but does it need to hurt so much, I mean this new fleshy heart  hurts, maybe I'll grow into it. I think that's your hope too. Lord I am struggling here. I am tired. I'm tired. She is tired. This limbo state is making us weary. I know Abba  , Your sovereign but I really need you to make your will clear to me, so I know that I am doing your will and not my own.  Abba, ya think I might be able to get a prophet? Ok, ok thats a little too much I know but I just need to know. I need to know that I know. We are here because I believe you opened the door. I know that I've fought to get here but I know I've continued to pray your will over this situation and over my life. She needs your comfort Lord, please she hasn't felt your presence in a while. Please Abba wrap your arms around her. She loves you Lord but she is tired, and I get it Lord because so am I. I know that you have plans for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us. We just can't see the forest for the trees right now. Our souls yearn, even faint for the court of the Lord. Our hearts and our flesh cry out for the living God.  I am so eternally grateful, for each day Lord I really am.  Each day I am humbled by your grace and mercy. I choose to rest in you tonight Lord, for how lovely is your dwelling place. I choose to believe in your promises and I choose you. Good night Abba, I love you with all of my heart (my new fleshy one ) and all of my soul...

4 comments:

  1. I long for you to feel His love and presence each and every moment. Know your cries are heard by God and His spirit cries out with you "In the same way the Spirit also joins to help in our weakness... but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with unspoken groanings." Romans 8:26

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  2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0c7nWGheQk

    Galatians 6:9

    Keep up the good work, I will encourage you and Adrianna, and the Family, as I encouraged my wife when we were going through this same period in our lives with Faith. Take it all to God, your anger your frustrations, your lack of understanding everything let Him have it all. God above all other can handle your anger, your frustration, your fear, your lack of understanding. He will direct your heart where it needs to go. Why because HE very present. We (well many of we), on the outside looking in at times, can see how very present He is... On the inside looking out sometimes we get lost and confused in the suffering, and can't see as clearly as we once did.

    I believe with my whole heart that you are doing the right things, though they are difficult and hard and you feel lost at times. You are doing what God would have you do. I am saying all this with as much love as I can. There is no greater privilege each of us have than to give God all the glory even through our suffering. I know that is hard to hear at times but it is oh so true.

    I know at times we want to know things and as you said we want to know that we know. The truth is we need to trust God that He knows that and be content with that. SUCKS at times but we are far better off not knowing things and trusting that He knows and that is sufficient. You are doing everything you should do. God clearly directed you here, stay put until He clearly directs you somewhere else. I know and understand the questions, trust me when I say I have asked them myself and rarely if ever received an answer. I thank Him often that He protected me from knowing. So let your questions be just that, accompanied by trusting God that He is the only one that needs to know. I know and understand how hard this is but we need to leave our could of’s and should of’s at the door and trust HIM and HIM alone that our doings as we believe HE requested and directed are sufficient. My hope and prayer is that these words encourage you to Keep on Keeping on.

    Your Brothers and Sisters in Christ

    In HIS Care

    Marcus, Tanya, Gabriel, Faith and Emerald.

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  3. Dear Scarlett and Adrianna, You don't know me but I go to CCV and was up at the women's retreat and got to know about you two up there. I have been through hard times so understand the level of your ache and want you to know that I'm praying for you and your family. Yesterday I discovered a beautiful song by Shawn McDonald (who is one of my favorites) that I hope touches and encourages you both. It's available as a free download on several sites right now and his new album comes out on the 22nd. I'm attaching a link from youtube so you can check it out.
    May God bless and sustain you in the days ahead <3
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nq98aqRmy4

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  4. My heart and prayers are with you both. Praying for continued revelation of God's will in the situation, praying for His fingerprints along the way as daily reminders that you are where HE has placed you.

    With love and prayer,
    Christina Olivos

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