What to look forward to...

Typically I start my post with a scripture that Dree and I have shared but today it seems more appropriate that I share this way. I asked God what was too much to share, what nugget was ours to keep and his response well- Phil 4:8 ...what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.- So now I am called to share everything that falls into those categories. Some of what I share may not always seem to fit, like hurt or doubt but in the end it will so I am left with being as honest and transparent as I can be. I will bear my soul and glimpses of hers. I will do my best to try and give you my perspective on this journey and when she allows hers as well. 


 Dree has asked me very bluntly might I add "What do I have to look forward to after this journey mom."  For a few days I was stumped. I had no answer, so I began to pray about it, As I got out of the elevator it just came to me. "Well, Adrianna you have a whole life ahead of you, a life God may bless you with to fulfill his purpose and be a display of his splendor. A life meant to glorify him". Then I laughed and for a second wanted to take all the credit for such a simple brilliant answer but I couldn't, and so I won't. I also realize that that wasn't the answer she was looking for, but that's what I got.


She is 14, she gets sad, lonely and even angry. She longs for peers, for a father. She wants to dance,sing and be normal. I know some people think its wrong to question God, but haven't we all had those moments. We have had a tough start to our second week. Some complications. Worry and fear has crept in but it has been kept at bay. Yes, there are tears but there is also laughter and love. In the midst of this battle we have joy. 


We are being able to see God in such tangible ways, feel his unfailing love and his mercy and grace. I really can't find the words to describe it, you have to have felt it to understand it. I read her all the texts, cards and post we get, she doubts how long people will care, struggles with trusting who will stick around, but she also knows we are all human and we are all fallible. She knows we will all in the end fail her at one point-- even me. She also is beginning to see and feel, and know there is someone who won't. Even when life gets busy, or tough even gut wrenchingly painful, she has-- but to be still, and listen and hear that quiet voice full of love and truth.